Monday, March 06, 2006

release

How good it is when God tells you, “You’re not good at ______” because you know in your heart what He means is, “You’re not good at _______ and it’s ok.” What a release. You don’t have to keep beating yourself up for not being any good at it, you don’t have to keep trying to do better so you don’t let yourself, God, and your community down. You don’t have to feel guilty for being lousy at something. The truth is that God didn’t make everyone an eye or a hand or a foot. He made everyone to be different. And it’s ok. It’s more than ok. It’s good. And it’s pleasing. Feet like to walk. Eyes like to see. Hands like to handle. They do it without even trying. If you’re not living your design, it’s hard, it’s frustrating, you feel guilty, and you hate doing it. But if you are living your own life, it will be easy, you won’t feel guilty, and you will be doing what you want to do.

Desire reveals design.

Something implied when God says that to you is that He is surrounding you with others who are good for those other things that you’re no good for. God has no interest in having estranged children. He even talked in the bible about how the Good Shepherd will leave the 99 sheep and go find the 1 who is lost. He always wants us to live in community. Actually, it goes farther than that, He wants us to live in a body—like feet and hands and eyes, or like grapes on a vine. Each member gets its lifeblood from Him as long as they are connected. Disconnected they die…sooner or later. So if you don't have everything you need to be the perfect person, it means you were created to be part of a body of people.

Lack implies belonging.

One thing none of us are good at is earning our own salvation. We weren’t designed for that. Or maybe I should say, we were originally designed not to even need salvation, not to need restoration into God’s family. But a design flaw called sin crept in early in the manufacturing process. Everything was lost. Dangit. So we have this huge lack that implies again membership—membership in God’s family. It’s what He wants.

But sometimes—even if we know that our desires reveal our design and that our lack in some area implies that God has made us to belong to one another—we look for permission. That’s the moment I’m talking about—the moment when God says, “Let it go.” Whenever he tells us that (if we actually let go), it’s always an incredible release, and it always comes with, hidden inside, some promise.

Release births promise.

How good it is to be released from something. I cried out to God for a year about something, went through bottles of Tums, popped gray hairs overnight, and lost a lot of sleep and a lot of life. Finally, God said, “Let go. It’s not going to happen like you want it to.” I hated hearing that. Resistance. For months. But what a peace when I finally let go. And he gave me some promises—some very precise, some implied. How good it is when God says, “No good. Let go.” It never sounds good when you hear it first, especially when you were trying as hard as I was, when you were giving as much as I was, when you were agonizing as much as I was, but it’s always sweet when you finally let go and get the promises.

The reason I thought he said to let go has changed several times since then, and that’s ok, too. I figure in moments like these that believing God is like sitting back and watching a magic painting change right before my eyes, as long as I will stop painting—stop feeling frustrated or guilty about it, stop hating the way it’s going, and stop trying to make it work or explain why it’s not. But in my life, even when I haven’t put my brush down, God has still made something wonderful that I could not see. Maybe what’s at stake is how we see ourselves and how we see our dreams. Maybe vision is something like fishing. Catch and release. Catch and release. Catch and release.

1 comment:

John Three Thirty said...

" You don’t have to keep beating yourself up for not being any good at it..."

reminds me of "Of course that's not as far as he can throw! Did he look like he was trying?!?!?"

I had totally forgotten about that until you reminded me of it. I probably forgot about it because it was so natural to stick up for a friend without even having to think about it.

Love you man...

This song is resonating with me. It's in my heart and has found my voice. I admit to being a Christina Perry fan. I've been known to...