on the road again

I think it’s the first time I’ve walked to work in the snow. How invigorating! Other than being 30 degrees colder than when I was here in December, Baltimore is the same. But the hotel crowd is another story…

The first week I was here it was the military. I’ve never seen so much brass in one place in my life. Most of them were colonel or better, and I shared an elevator more than once with generals. It must have been a group from the Pentagon, being so close to DC. It was kind of impressive, actually. But at one point I remember wondering, who’s running the show right now?

The second week it was the Jews. And I don’t know if I’ve seen so many Jews in one place in my life. They were almost as conspicuous as the military, with their kippah caps, bold features, and buoyant conversation. I found out it was a group that promotes Jewish life on college campuses. I don’t know what they did in the conference rooms, but they sure knew how to party in the lobby.

The third week was pretty quiet. I don’t think anyone convened between the week of Christmas and New Year’s. Everybody was probably at home, where I probably should have been. But it was great to be here with my son for his 14th birthday. And our night excursion to DC will not be soon forgotten—by either of us.

This week it’s medical doctors. They’re having some powwow about the human genome. I guess these people are all geniuses. It’s so easy to respect doctors, if for no other reason how much education they've suffered. It’s almost scary, really. It almost seems unnatural for someone to be able to sustain focus and absorption of information for that long, and then after that to submit to the extreme workload they typically put interns through. And I think that’s one of the reasons there is so much fear surrounding the whole medical sector. We are in awe of these people. I mean, we even use different words to describe them than we use for regular people. For example, doctors don’t have personalities. They have bedside manners.

So I sat tableside a pair of doctors during breakfast, a man and a woman. Right next to them. The hotel restaurant was extremely crowded, which is strange because I have often been one of two or three tables served. So I knew immediately: get the buffet and forget ordering an omelet. But these two doctors had egg-white omelets on order. And they were getting impatient. When I said I was getting the buffet, the woman told me she should have done the same. After I sat back down and started eating, she told me that if they didn’t get their food in two minutes, she was going to hit the buffet and give the food she ordered to the homeless people outside. Like I said, I was really close, and I could hear their whole conversation. You know what they talked about? Regular stuff. “I’m an extrovert, you’re an introvert… I was afraid Jones would reject the new program I suggested… We need someone with your perspective to help us understand how this field of medicine is different for adults since we all work with children… Do you really think they would hire me for this job...?”

Basically, whether you’re military, Jew, or doctor, you have two things rolling around in your heart at all times.

What do you want?
What are you afraid of?

These are just so basic to the human heart. I would even say they are the heart of the human heart, if there is such a thing, the left hand and the right hand, the yin and yang, the alpha and omega, the arteries and veins, the exhale and inhale, the pulse. This is it.

All of us complain about stuff, lust after stuff, fight for stuff, rant, ramble, and obsess over stuff. But when we get ready to get off those not-so-merry-go-rounds, what we need is someone who really cares about us to kindly confront us with these two questions. In my way of thinking, these are the only two questions worth asking. These two questions, honestly answered by the quiet heart in the presence of Christ are the only things really able to penetrate the layers of self-deception, the world, wounds, personality, temperament, and all the other psychosomatic elements that mix to make up the person we think (and others think) we are.

It’s not so much that the answer to these questions is the meaning of life (I’m picturing Curly holding up that one leathery finger in City Slickers). It’s the journey these two questions lead you on. And it is a journey. Which is why they have to be asked over and over. Basically any time you realize you’re on one of the not-so-merry-go-rounds again, it’s time to go back to the questions.

I’ve seen these questions transform lives again and again, whether they are asked point blank or in other forms. They make a difference not only personally but also interpersonally—it’s a good way to communicate. And I have asked them to myself.

So, there’s nothing new to report here, except Baltimore's first snow, and a reminder that all of us—if we melt away the brass, the uniform, the religion, the culture, the degree, the salary, and everything else that seems to make our world go round—are the same. We have the same two questions in our hearts. It’s how we deal with those two questions that makes the difference.