Thursday, October 05, 2006

the first play

Within the first two minutes of the game, Mafaz threw the ball in to Destyn, who dribbled it down into scoring area, then passed it over to Jessica, who kicked it straight into the goal. It was beautiful. It was holy. It was like the whole universe for a second was all lined up right like tumblers in the lock guarding pure joy. I will never forget the smile on everyone’s faces when they ran back for the kick off, looking over at the sideline, especially Jessica’s. I could not have been happier.

I remember the time I first met Jessica. We were halfway through our first game, when up walks a woman, claiming that she had signed up her daughter just yesterday, and this was her team. Now, a lot of people had come up before asking if this was their team both at our first practice and that first game, which were two days apart. My experience with YMCA soccer is a month of silence followed by a completely sudden phone call for first practice and first game with uniforms flying at you as fast as team rosters, schedules, and sign-up sheets for snacks and drinks. So, it was not unusual for someone to wander up to me right in the middle of the game as I was doing a bit of high octane coaching with a query about team membership. So this woman says in broken English this is her daughter’s team, and can she play.

What do you do?

I patiently explained to her that we were already playing this game, and that if this is indeed her team, she can show up at practice next week, and if so, I’m happy to include her. I am thinking in the back of my mind: Who are these people? And I need to call the director and ask them if this is real or if these people are just trying to scam a cool uniform, and if it’s real, why didn’t they call me? I was very polite. I don’t think she understood much of what I said.

I asked her if she’s sure this is her team, and tell her that there are a lot of teams, and she’s not on my list (over those few whirlwind days I had probably referred to my list a dozen times). She assured me that this was her team because when she filled out the application form, she requested that she be on the same tame as her cousin, Katia, who was on our team. Oh. I remember looking at this woman staring at me, and I remember looking down at this little girl in her pastel shorts, shirt, and flip flops. I told her that in that case this probably was her team. I welcomed them and invited them to stay and watch, and told them when to show up for practice.

We now turn our attention back to the game, which we are supposed to be coaching.

But my mind was spinning pretty fast, processing this picture. The next time the ball went out of bounds I turned to Jill, explained the story, pointed out the people, and asked her what she thought. I told her I had another uniform in the trunk this girl could have. She shrugged and said it sounded good to her. I sent Jill after the uniform, and then went and found the woman and her daughter, and told them that she could play. Today. They were amazed. The whole family reminded me of one of those little bitty dogs that get shaky and jumpy with excitement when you come around, spinning, jumping, chasing their tail, not really knowing what to do. I told them her uniform would be here in a few minutes. Jessica smiled as she jumped up and down and clapped her hands.

Now I just had to figure out what to do with her.

So I put her in at defense. I figured she couldn’t do much damage there. And she didn’t. We tied the game 1-1, although I don’t know how. It felt like we were getting whipped. It was the herd of turtles thing.

The other thing I remember was after the game seeing Jessica wearing her new uniform with flip flops. And wondering if she had just played the whole fourth quarter in them.

Anyway, since then I’ve made some changes—the important one to this story being a breakaway back, who just stands down at the other team’s end and waits for the ball to come to them, and then kicks it in. I tried a couple of my stronger players out down there, figuring that if someone could dribble pretty well, he could get into a non-herd situation and actually score. That was disastrous. Do you know how hard it is to get a 10 year old boy to stand still and wait for some ball to come to him? Yeah. Thought so.

Enter Jessica. I tried her at the position. As soon as the other team kicks off, she runs as fast as she can the opposite direction to wait by their goal. And she just waits there for the ball. I can’t tell you how many times the ball has come to her. And as soon as she gets it the other team just pounces on her. She’s such a tiny thing. With a big smile. Last week, she actually took several shots. And every time the ball just didn’t have enough umph to get across that line. One time she actually did get it across but the ref wasn’t looking so she didn’t get credit, but that’s another story. It’s also another story how many times she asked, “Coach, didn’t I score?” “Yes, but they didn’t count it. But you and I know the truth.”

So, you already read the end of the story. We won the game, too, and everyone was excited about that, but I got my payoff in that first play. And it wasn’t just Jessica. It was everyone. It was the way they shared, the way they saw her, the way they gave up what they had so she could shine. And even if the ball hadn’t gone in the net I still would’ve been proud to be their coach, proud to be on their team, proud to be human. But this time it did go in. And it reminded me that life does work, that team is possible, and that joy still rolls in from time to time.

6 comments:

Jill said...

I love the way that God often surprises us. It is sometimes in the most unexpected situations - the ones that we have every right(I know how you love that word) to walk away from. You could have said "no" to Jessica that day. The fact that you said "yes" changed everything.

On another note.... I have been so proud to watch you coach our boys soccer teams. I am amazed by the gentle, yet strong way you have led the 3 and 4 year old team. I am amazed with the passion, committment and determination you have led the 9 and 10 year olds. Actually, I am not amazed. It fits with the man you are. Love you! Jill

John Three Thirty said...

(((((((((((((((soccer dad))))))))))))))))))))))))

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.............

Love you man!!!!

:-) :-)

Steve Coan said...

Hold the awwwws because today was a major different story.

We played the best team in the league, and 3 of our stronger players were out. Which meant that we played with 9 and the other team played 9 as well, with 2 subs so they were nice and fresh the whole game.

So I sat on the sidelines as the coach dumbfounded as I watched nine 9-10 year olds systematically pick us apart. It was like clockwork. So predictable. Now the goalie kicks it to midfield, now we challenge, now they emerge with it, now they kick it to one of their two forwards waiting happily in either wing, now they dribble it around one of our players, two of our players, three of our players, shot, goal. Repeat the process 6 times or until brown on top and soft in the middle. Oy!

I was proud of our team. They hung in there, even scoring our one and only goal at the final whistle. And I was proud and surprised by my own son, Benjamin, who got a little goalie action and did very well. But of course when you're losing, nobody's happy. Especially the parents.

I feel like my job as coach is primarily to teach the kids something. That's not just in practice but in the game, too. Part of that is not to give up. Part of that is to learn to shut down what they're doing, keeping the same people in the same positions, but playing smarter. Part of that is that coach talk thing on the sidelines.

But it's a learning process for coach, too. Part of it is finding when someone is in a position that they're not good at or not happy with and moving them. And part of it is realizing when it's time to quit learning and just let everyone cut loose and try to salvage some fun out of a bad situation.

Another thing that came home today for me was how changing the mix of people affects the whole show. In the game it played out like this. Not only would the guys who were out have helped us to defend out goal. Not only would they have helped us score. But there are other things that would change the balance, too. By our guys having control of the ball it means that their guys don't, which changes everything.

And then there's also sort of an aura around strong players. Haven't you noticed that when there's a person around who is strong in some way, it gives the whole group a lift. It could be soccer prowess or business knowledge or technical skills or coolness or belief or anything, really. The weight of someone's life will bring out weightiness in others, summon it forth.

Again, I was very proud of our team today. And we were all very aware of how important each person is to the success of the whole team. No position is expendable. No person is. And I think maybe there's some divine truth in that.

John Three Thirty said...

you know that comment was simply of the old adage: we kid because we love. A true guy-ism.

In your reply you said:

"Haven't you noticed that when there's a person around who is strong in some way, it gives the whole group a lift. It could be soccer prowess or business knowledge or technical skills or coolness or belief or anything, really. The weight of someone's life will bring out weightiness in others, summon it forth."

Makes me think of Jesus. Man, that is some SSSEEELLLLAAAAHHHHHHH....

Interesting how his presence emboldened some and stirred the hornets nest in others.

John Three Thirty said...

And I apologize for disrupting the tone of the thread.

I shoulda apologized first off. I'm sorry, man. There's a time to crack a joke and a time not to. (Eccl 3)

Many pardons for not being on the same page with you and God, and for showing my rather uncomely back side.

Steve Coan said...

Whatttt? No apologies.

"Soccer mom" is one of those evocative terms that takes us all back to Bill Clinton's manipulation of the political landscape. He was a master. And now it's hard for those of us who saw through that not to be forever turned off by that term.

And I was thinking that there are other things that I've seen through around here, things like "take authority over your family" and a lot of the kooky charismatic stuff, "in the NAAAAME of Jeeeeezusah" and falling down and all that.

But Francis Shaeffer said something like--don't let any abuse of theology determine your theology.

In other words, just go for what is true.

I think the same would go for this. And for a lot of stuff. For example, people say, "love" and they abuse the heck out of that word. But it doesn't mean that true love doesn't exist, and it doesn't mean that true love is not the greatest virtue. And people do the weirdest things under the guise of prayer, but that doesn't mean God doesn't converse with us and answer us. And it is a cool thing to coach your kids' soccer team. And if you're the coach, it's a very cool thing when the kids' parents are with them at every practice and every game instead of dropping them off. It's even cool when they voice their opinions at the coach--at least they care about their kids' world.

This song is resonating with me. It's in my heart and has found my voice. I admit to being a Christina Perry fan. I've been known to...